


OBLITERATE

by HoneyVoice



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Betrayal, Car Accidents, Dark, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone loves Juho, Falling In Love, Financial Issues, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gay, I Don't Even Know, Im scared, Lies, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, My First Fanfic, Mystery, Near Death Experiences, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paranoia, Violence, dabin have my heart, hwitae are cute, jaeho are soulmates, juho is confused, please dont hurt me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-09-22 14:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17061458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyVoice/pseuds/HoneyVoice
Summary: "I have two questions. Who are you and why am I writing this? Please respond.”~Baek JuhoORIn which 9 boys find heaven and more in each other until an incident changes their lives forever. Two souls separated by love, kept apart by friendship, brought together by destiny; if they meet again, would it be too late?





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction EVER and im super nervous onsjsns please be kind to me and if u like it or want to recomend something, please comment and leave kudos.  
> I'm using the boys' real names in this one, except chani's bc its too similar.  
> the hairstyle of each member is the following  
> Youngbin: brown  
> Inseong: brown  
> Jaeyoon: blond  
> Dawon: blond  
> Rowoon:brown  
> Zuho: silver  
> Taeyang: brown  
> Hwi: black  
> Chani: black  
> if u see any mistake, please correct me, dont be shy!  
> Anywaysssss enjoy!

Thursday, 26th of June, 2014

Saying Juho was drunk was an understatement.

 

A group of young friends were in a club, all scattered around the place and having forgotten who was going to drive that night. Juho checked his phone and saw various notifications. He sighed. Not again.

(11:24 PM)  
Mom 2.0: when are you going to arrive home  
(11:40 PM)  
Mom 2.0: Juho this is serious  
Mom 2.0: are you drunk ?  
Mom 2.0: if you puke while sleeping tonight im letting you drown on your own vomit  
(12:09 PM) Friday, 27th of June, 2014  
Mom 2.0: BAEK JUHO !!!  
Me: waaat do you want nowwwwww  
Mom 2.0: omg you ARE drunk  
Mom 2.0: whos driving  
Me: I dont knowwww and and I dont care now leave me aloneeeknjsbsj  
Mom 2.0: I TOLD U U SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE OUT TONIGHT, ENTRANCE EXAMS ARE TOMORROW  
Me: blah blah bleh mom stfu and let me liv am a rbelious childdd  
(12:15 PM)  
Mom 2.0: STOP CALLING ME MOM  
Me: whatever … stfu seokwoo let me livvvv  
Mom 2.0: do whatever you want, im done

 

'What ? That’s weird. Is he mad at me? He never leaves me alone that easily … I should be scared…' He lost his line of thought as warm arms encircled him from behind; a soft yet firm torso was pressed against him when a deep velvet-y voice whispers in his ear, “Who are you talking with?” 

Juho would have jumped and punched whoever it was square in the face. However, he could recognize that voice anywhere. The silver haired boy turns around in the blond's arms to answer with a smile, “It’s Seokwoo, he’s worried about me.” Sometimes, Juho was convinced he didn’t deserve Seokwoo. His best friend has been there for him on his highs and lows since he could walk. His nagging never fails to make Juho's heart feel warm. Seokwoo is really an angel.

 

“Are we heading home already? Should I search for the others?”, Jaeyoon asks, unwrapping his hands around the younger. If they were leaving, he should start looking for Taeyang and Youngkyun, who were probably kissing under a desk somewhere. Sanghyuk was showing his very lacking dancing skills to a group of girls over the right side of the club, wishing they were drunk enough to not laugh at him. Youngbin, Seokwoo, Inseong, and Chani are at home, most likely studying for the university entrance exams. It was their last day as highschoolers, damn it, don’t judge them.  
Juho nods, “The rest must be drunk out of their minds. How many?”

Jaeyoon raises his hand, four fingers on display. A loud groan could be heard on Juho's direction, his turn to drive.

“C’mon hyung I got two beers and I’m smashed. Drive for me?”, Juho pleads.

“Rules are rules, you big baby. YOU were the one who established those rules!”, Jaeyoon reminds him. 'Whoever drinks less needs to drive', why the fuck did I say that, anyways. It makes no sense! Juho thought while finishing his beer, I’m an idiot.

But the sour taste on Juho's mouth didn’t last long. “And who’s paying ~ ?”, he sing-songs, shooting Jaeyoon one on his famous smiles.

Now it’s Jaeyoon's turn to groan, taking out his wallet and repeating all of their names to the barista, doomed to pay for everyone's drinks tonight after loosing a bet to Taeyang, that smart little shit.

Meanwhile Jaeyoon pays the bill, another notification pops out in Juho's screen, from his mom.

 

(12:24 PM)  
Mother💖 : Good evening, darling. Sorry for texting you at this hour but, I can’t stop thinking about my smart son. I’m so proud of you, Baek Juho! High school was not easy given the circumstances, but you made it through and out. You must be scared about college life but, it’s easier and more enjoyable than school. Besides, a promise is a promise. I won’t be around to pester you anymore, you gained your so craved independence! I’m going to miss you, my dear. Your brother will too but, this is what you wanted. Your father and I love you to pieces … please, doesn’t matter what happens, don’t forget about us. Please visit soon! Good luck!

Tears grace his deep brown eyes when reading the message. The silver-head truly loves his family. They understand him in every way and respect his opinions and decisions. Being left with a restricted amount of money and succeeding in college is a challenge Juho wants to defeat alone; prepare himself for the outside world. 

I can do this, Juho thinks while looking at Jaeyoon's back, on his way to gather the others and leave the building; I’m not alone, Juho smiles at the thought of the rest of his friends waiting for them on their shared dorm room. I’m fine.

After finding the couple and helping Sanghyuk out of his predicament, the five teens exit the bar with drunken smiles on their faces, not able to walk in a straight line.

“NO MORE SCHOOL, YA FUCKS!!! I’M A FREE MAN!!!”, Sanghyuk screams into the cold night air surrounding them, clinging onto Juho for support.

“Shut up before you call attention toward us.”, Juho whispers on his ear as they all reach Jaeyoon’s car. 

The green Jeep was his hyung's pride. Only Juho was allowed to drive it, excluding himself. This explains the reason of that 'stupid' rule. Sanghyuk entertains himself pestering the lovey-dovey couple meanwhile Juho starts the engine.

As the car roars back to life, they all pill up inside. “Are y’all ready for the ride of your lives?”, Juho asks, his foot hovering on the accelerator.

“LET’S FUCKING GO!”, the four drunken boys scream in unison as Juho starts driving. Youngkyun and Taeyang draw the windows down and take out their heads, cheering into the midnight wind and demanding Juho to go faster. Jaeyoon was to busy looking at the sky to notice a very asleep Sanghyuk on the backseat.

This is amazing, Juho thinks to himself. The mayority of his best friends here, having a good time and leaving all of the stress school caused behind on a single night, looking at the stars as they were more important than the road ahead. However, at that moment, they were. Juho couldn’t be happier.

'Good things don’t last forever', they say. And Juho accepts that. He knows that someday, at sometime, this joy is going to run out, he is aware of it.

What Juho didn’t know though, was when, scratch that, how quickly it was going to run out. The stars start to disappear before his eyes. 'NO !! COME BACK !!', he wants to scream. But before any coherent thought could form in his mind, a loud honk blares, cutting into the peaceful air like a knife through tender skin.  
A crash. 

A pain so strong Juho thinks he will die. 

And then … silence.

Everything goes black.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, light.

The first thing Juho sees when waking up is a bright light directed at him, which forced him to close his eyes again. Slowly but surely, his hearing begins to work, too.

'What happened!?' 'They crashed with a truck, doctor.' Ah, that makes sense.

'External injuries?' 'Not severe, the truck driver hit the brakes before the crash. The others only have glass pieces stuck to their bodies and mild shock. One of them, though, might have a few broken ribs; his breathing is unstable.' Lucky bastards, whoever they were.

'What about this one?' Juho feels a hand caress his shoulder. He tries to open his eyes again, first spotting the doctor’s soft features and long hair, she is a woman.

'He got the worst of it. The paramedics concluded that he hit his head and got a concussion. We can’t determine the side effects before he regains consciousness. Also, a dislocated shoulder- ' Wait, WHAT?

Juho feels himself shuffle on the bed, scared of the words registering in his head. Then, another hand grips at his sides, gently. “Hey, hey, can you hear me? What’s your name?”, the nurse stops talking abruptly and asks, alarmed.

And that … that’s was a really good question.

 

Who Am I?

Everything goes black again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: I changed the year in which the events take place to make it more realistic. instead of 2016 now its 2014  
> sorry about that :")


	2. PRESENT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...good things don’t last forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!! I'm planning on updating every 4 to 5 days. Next update should be around Thursday or Friday next week. Anyways, enjoy!

Sunday, 22nd of June, 2016

The wake up alarm starts ringing, making him groan and reach blindly for his phone. The dark blue sheets of his bed always makes it difficult to find, so he gives up and waits until Seokwoo comes to wake him up.

The tall windows in their apartment let the sun shine into his room, bathing it in an angelic glow. His bedroom's walls give off a calm feeling with their light cream color. 

Besides his beautifully decorated room, the place is a mess. Worn clothes adorn every space they can reach, meanwhile his shoes transform the bedroom into a minefield.

So Juho spends his time like this, observing and analyzing his every habit as if he himself was a stranger. Maybe, that way he could know himself, his self from before.

Ten minutes go by and nothing. Well, this is weird. Where is he now? Juho gets up from his bed and finds his phone on the floor. Figures, he thinks. The boy chooses a white t-shirt and black skinny jeans as his outfit for today, taking the out of his closet and setting them on top of his bed. 

As he walks into the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush his teeth, the boy can’t help to wonder about his roommate’s whereabouts. Kim Seokwoo, his best friend and convenient roommate, always made sure he would wake up if his alarm didn’t do the trick, which was the case most of the time. The teen gets dressed for the day, putting on his always loyal black sneakers. He stands up and looks at the mirror. Juho messes with his hair for a while, only stopping when he’s satisfied with how it looks.

Leaving his room and entering the kitchen, he finds a note waiting for him on the table, a plate of pancakes right beside it. As he reads, the silver-head can’t help but smile.

·Good morning, you caveman. Don’t wake up too late or you’ll miss breakfast. Eat up and check your phone ffs.  
With hate, Seokwoo.

Because of Juho's daily complaints on Seokwoo's mother-like nature, the tall boy tries different ways of talking care of him. He’s adorable, Juho laughs as he picks up the homemade breakfast and takes it to his room.

Picking up his phone, the boy begins to eat as he checks his latest notifications. As expected, only his friend group and his mom care enough to text him.

(9:32 AM)  
Mom💖: Good morning. How are you?

(11: 09 AM)  
Me: Good morning, mom. I’m fine, how about you?

Me: I’ll relax and prepare for my classes tomorrow, don’t worry!

Me: What about dad ? How’s my younger brother doing? Talk to me!

And as expected, no response. He’s not sure why but, his mom doesn’t like talking to him. Sure, she loves him just as much he loves her, but when they talk on the phone, she’s always distracted and hangs up quickly. She texts him but only to know if he’s okay, no more. 

Sometimes, he wonders if he did something wrong. Maybe she's mad at him, maybe she’s ashamed of something he did, maybe she’s just sad? Juho couldn’t be sure. Either way, it’s always the same.

After answering his mom, he checks the groupchat.

«Seokwoo and the uglies» (8)

(9:00 AM)  
Seokwoo: Rise and shine scumbags.

Inseong: How nice of u

Inseong: did u get ur beauty sleep?

Seokwoo: I dont need that im already fine as all hell ; )

Chani: suuuuuuureeeeee … dont lie to yourself

Seokwoo: is the truth too strong to deal with?

Youngbin: Stop arguing please. Someone take me out of my misery and come overrrrrr your hyung is lonely

Inseong: what about hyuk, hes not with you?

Youngbin: I dont think he came home yesterday… that brat parties too much sigh

Taeyang: omw hyung, ill save u from loneliness

Youngkyun: me too 

Youngbin: I love both of you but please someone else must come over too I dont wanna spend my time being a third wheel with the lovebirds

Seokwoo: if all of u come over, ill make lunch for everyone

Inseong: IM IN

Chani: IM IN

Hwiyoung: IM IN

Taeyang: FUCK YEA

Youngbin: seok u are my favorite u know that?

Sanghyuk: SIGN ME TF UP

Sanghyuk: binnie hyung u told me I was ur favorite u lied to me

Youngbin: U BRAT I WAS WORRIED AND LONELY WHERE TF ARE U

Sanghyuk: Im at macdonalds : )))

Youngbin: because ….?

Sanghyuk: I got tired of your face

Youngbin: I hate u

Sanghyuk: thanks ; )

Taeyang: from partying all night to eating junk food, so so healthy

Youngkyun: his mind …

Chani: sooo whens the funeral

Sanghyuk: says the brat who runs on instant ramen 24/7

Seokwoo: you all fight like cats and dogs, stfu

Sanghyuk: says the dog …

Seokwoo: ill ignore that comment …

Seokwoo: now, lets pray juho wakes up and sees this before 12

Sanghyuk: 1 like = 1 prayer

Youngbin: too bad I cant like you bc ur a piece of shit

Inseong: ouch

Chani: 3rd degree burn

Youngkyun: that must hurt

Taeyang: hyuk u should get that checked

Sanghyuk: yall can die

Seokwoo: anyways, yall need to bring food too, dont leave all the work to me

Youngkyun: tae and I will bring some chips

Taeyang: I thought the same omg we are so connected <3

Youngkyun: I love you :”)

Youngbin: *makes gagging noises* mOVING ON

Inseong: let me have the HONOR of coming thru with them hot cheetos

Taeyang: woah go off legendeu

Youngkyun: I CANT BREATHEE

Sanghyuk: KSJSKSJJS

Seokwoo: close your damn mouthsbshsh

Chani: ill bring juice

Youngbin: orange juice or u r banned from my house

Chani: ill bring apple juice like it or not

(11:25 AM)  
Me: yall dont get tired of talking shit

Me: ill be there, dont worry

Me: ill bring something sweet ;; )

Sanghyuk: DID U KNOW UR THE BEST FRIEND EVER?

Seokwoo: what about me?

Chani: what about you? Stfu

Seokwoo: *Adonis has left the chat*

Juho shakes his head at his friends antics. All seven of them have been best friends forever and he loves them very much. The deal is, what is he supposed to bring over ?

Youngbin seemed really bothered, so the silver-head decides to bake his hyung's favorite dessert, cupcakes. Determined, Juho takes out the eggs, milk, and chocolate cupcake batter mix to start cooking. 

Fifteen minutes later, the mix is set in the oven. Juho sits down to wait, letting his mind wonder out of it’s confines. The teens moved out of Seoul and to the United States two years ago, and Juho couldn’t be more glad. California is pretty and has lots of people. However, his social skills were as old as soil. His strong features, shy nature, and resting bitch face scares most of his classmates away and makes it difficult to make friends. And God, don’t get him started on his classes. He HATES math so much. It doesn’t make any sense in his head, all of the procedures and equations give him a headache. No wonder it’s the only class he is falling behind. He isn’t bothered, though. Juho is satisfied with the friends he has and the life he lives most of time.

But, on times like this, he wonders, oh he wonders how was his life back in Korea. Maybe he had more friends there? His brother always sends him letters about the parties he goes to, the people he meet, his life in general. Writing letters is an habit his brother got him into, and a pretty fun one, too. 

But, doesn’t matter how hard he tries, his memory always betrays him. All he remembers is his stance on hospital, not a really fond memory. Anything before the hospital was a mystery. He can’t remember any concrete events or his personal behaviors. The only thing he remembers is an address: Daeyeon-dong, Nam-gu, Busan, South Korea. That’s it. Thinking about it made him feel weird, confused him even further, so he shakes his head and stands up, checking on the cupcakes.

Taking them out of the oven and into a container, he checks the time. The clock reads 12:34 PM. Good enough, he thinks. Reaching for his keys, wallet, and phone; Juho exits the apartment complex.

The walk to Youngbin's apartment is five to ten minutes max, with a 3 minute delay checking his mail (nothing yet). When the silver-head reaches his hyung's door, he raises his fist to knock as the door flies open revealing a smiling Youngbin behind it, probably waiting for him. The older's eyes study him up and down, stopping at the container on his hands. Youngbin sniffs the air and smiles. “Are those cupcakes?”, he asks excitedly. His green oversized hoodie and joggers made him look even shorter. He’s cute.

“Of course they are, who do you think I am?”, Juho laughs as he takes the smaller man into a hug, enjoying their closeness.

“I missed you.", the brown haired man whispers in his ear, holding him tight. “Me too, hyung.”, the sliver-head replies as he closes his eyes and smiles.

Without opening his eyes, Juho feels footsteps approaching them from ahead. “Perfect timing Juho,”, Seokwoo says, “you two go sit on the table, I’ll get the others.” Just as the brunette turned around, he screams, “Lunch is ready you punks, come over here!”. The tallest is wearing a yellow tee with light blue jeans, looking stunning as always. Everyone else is wearing comfy clothes that fit the homely atmosphere.

As the others come and greet him at the door, Juho feels content. His friends hold the world for him to live in. They mean so much to him, it’s a little worrying. As they all sat down in the living room, they began to eat.

°°°

Lunch was great. The conversation flowed pretty smoothly, and they had fun joking back and ford. The 8 teens played some rounds of monopoly, UNO, and truth or dare before turning on the Just Dance. And oh boy, THAT was a competition. At the end, everyone relieved stress and had a good time. Seokwoo, being the amazing cook he is, made so much food that everyone went home with leftovers for breakfast. It was all good.

But as you may have learned, good things don’t last forever.

After everyone went home later that evening, Youngbin and Sanghyuk sit in the living room couch, some stupid TV show playing on the background meanwhile the moon shines bright in the middle of the sky. The night sounds blared on their ears, each one thinking about each other. A silent apology was exchanged in the silence between each other before the words, and most importantly, the tears started to flow. And so they waited. Waited for someone to ask, say something. Of course, Youngbin breaks first.

“Why?”, the older asks, defeated. After everything that has happened, little things like not coming home or not answering a phone call scare Youngbin to death. His mind becomes paranoic, thinking up different scenarios in which he fails to save the most important people in his life. It’s terrifying and the younger knows. Sanghyuk knows oh too well how he feels, but the younger was a selfish. A selfish coward that can’t keep himself together.

“I'm sorry. It’s … it’s that time of the year.”, was his only response as the younger plays with the hem of his shirt, a deep blue top with a matching set of pants that were getting wet with his tears. And Youngbin didn’t need any explanation, because his next move is to wrap his arms around the younger, his head set atop of Sanghyuk's head. 

The blonde started sobbing before he knew it. “Hyung I should have done something. All of this is MY fault. I was the one who should have drove that night. I was the one assigned that single task, but my selfishness ruined it all. Because of me, he can’t remember a thing. Every time I see him smile I can’t help but think he WOULD have been happier. More free. More like himself. But now he’s someone WE taught him and I can’t-“ the tears streaming down his face left a big stain on the older's shirt, but he couldn’t care less. Not when his best friend needed him. The brunette let him cry. Cry like it was the day of the accident. 

Youngbin tightens his grip around the younger's waist and whispers, “I know, I know. Please take deep breaths for me? Inhale… exhale … that’s it. You are fine, okay? Just breathe.” The older couldn’t hold his tears in anymore, letting them flow down his cheeks like raindrops of an announced storm. It hurt, damn, it really did. But they are together and that’s all they need. All Youngbin could do right now is hold on tight and hope for the best.

Everything will be fine. They will get through this.  
I promise.

°°°

“Home sweet home!”, Seokwoo shouts as they enter their shared apartment complex, each one with a smile on his face. “Amen to that.” Juho replies as he drops down on the couch of their living room.

“So, how was the food?”, the tallest asks expectantly, waiting for the praises that were about to come.

“Best meal I have ever had 100%”, Juho praises as he turns on the TV, switching channels and waiting for something to catch his attention.

“Damn right it was.”, Seokwoo remarks as he stores away the leftovers on their fridge.

“You are too self centered sometimes.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes, very annoying.”

“Too bad I won’t change, deal with it.”

Juho huffs playfully at his roommate, praying to all of the gods out there his friend never changed.

Juho closes his eyes for a little. Today was awesome, he immensely needed to relax and have fun with his best (and only) friends. As he opens them again, he is startled by Seokwoo standing right before him, waiting.

“Pill time, mister.”, god Juho hates talking pills. Sure, they made his sleeping problems easier to manage, but they also fogged his mind. When Juho drinks them, he feels as if his soul leaves his body and watches it sleep. Besides, he doesn’t feel good when he wakes up. Less tired, sure, but not rested.

“Whatever.”, he obediently takes the capsules and swallows them down with the water his roommate brought him.

“Go to sleep, you seem tired. Goodnight.” was the last thing Seokwoo tells him before disappearing into his room.

And Juho did just that. He needed to sleep, anyways. Tomorrow he has morning classes. Dropping down onto the bed, the last thing Juho thinks about before lulling into unconsciousness is his friend’s smiling faces and a beautiful starry night.

Hmm, that seems familiar…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment about what you think! Kudos are always welcomed too!! If u have any complains, don't be shy and please tell me! Come yell at me on twt @babypinkjaeyoon. Until next chapter, bye!!!


	3. PAST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little longer than the normal ones, I hope you all like it ! next chapter might come a little late next week. enjoy!

Friday, 27th of June, 2014

The moment they received the call, Juho's parents ran into the car on their way to the hospital, leaving the boy's brother sleeping on his room. When they arrive, her first instinct and action is to scream.

“WHERE IS MY SON?”, the woman shouts with all her might, tears already rolling down her face, gripping and grabbing at every employee that walked by. Her husband was trying to calm her down in any way he could, but she was desperate.

One nurse took pity on her. “What’s your son’s name?”, she asked, hopping it wasn’t a causality case. Those were the worst.

“Juho Baek Juho he is very tall his hair is silver and it’s very difficult to miss he also has brown eyes and a mole in his left arm-", she was babbling at this point. But the name hit home in the nurse’s mind.

“Follow me, please.”

The woman rushed behind the nurse, hope starting to bubble in her heart. Her son MUST be okay. If anything happened to him, it would be her fault and no one else’s.

The nurse stopped in front of a door labeled C-14. Before entering, she turned to the parents and gave them a warning. “Your son is in a very delicate state. He got a concussion in the crash and a few dislocated bones. He must be really scared right now so please, no loud noises or stressing factors may affect the patient. You may enter now.”

The room was white from top to bottom. No color graced the tall walls of the room, neither the rustled sheets of the bed, nor the pale cheeks of his beloved son. Seeing their firstborn in such a state broke their hearts, and she couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Ju- … Juho …”, she whispered before falling to her knees, her husband trying and failing to help her up.

“Come on, Gaeul-ah. Stand up for me.”, her husband tried but to no vail, she wasn’t paying attention anymore. Slowly, Gaeul crawled until she was beside Juho's hospital bed, the flow of her tears going non-stop.

“I’m so- I’m so…rry. I- I should ha-have done s-something. Ple-please forgive m-me. Do-don’t leav-ve me n-now…”

Right at that second, the boy started shifting on the bed, slowly regaining consciousness. And she couldn’t have been more grateful. Her son was alive, goddamnit. 

Standing up rushedly and ungratefully, she looks at her son’s features as he opened his eyes. “Hello darling.” God, she was so glad. Her son was fine.

Or was he?

The silver-head's face showed a mixture of confusion and sadness. He stared silently at her, planning what he was going to say carefully meanwhile Gaeul looked back and ford to the nurse, her son, and her husband. ‘What’s wrong?’, that was all she could think off.

And then, Juho opened his mouth to say, “Hey, ma’am. I’m really sorry for what I’ll say next but I was involved in an incident, or so I suppose since I’m in a hospital bed and everything hurts, and I cannot recall your name. Could we be introduced to each other again? I was told my name is Baek Juho, how about yours?”.

///

Present

The first thing Juho hears when waking up is his handsome roommate screaming at the top of his lungs, which was, not strange at all.

“WAKE UP OR I’LL MAKE YOU WALK TO SCHOOL TODAY!", a very annoyed (and slightly scary) Seokwoo screams. The threat sounds like Juho's biggest nightmare; he hates physical exercise. Seokwoo told him that ever since they were little, Juho sucked at anything involved with more than walking, which was the biggest understatement of the century. After the incident, which could be described as Juho's most embarrassing moment in life, he got worse.

Either way, today was going to be a good day. Most mortals in this world hate Mondays, which is something Juho deeply criticizes. On Mondays, he has all of his favorite classes, which makes it the best day of the week. It’s his opinion, sue him.

As the silver-head stands up and head to the bathroom, he can’t help but think of yesterday's events. Youngbin looked really upset and, knowing his hyung, it was probably more than Sanghyuk ditching him. He just hoped the brunette felt better soon. Also, Taeyang and Youngkyun didn’t talk to each other at all. Which was pretty weird, they were acting normal in the chat. Those two have been through heaven and hell together, and he sometimes envied their relationship. As Juho was applying shampoo to his hair, he tries to decipher the situation. But, as expected, he has no idea of what’s happening. 

Once out of the shower and fully dressed, the shorter roommate packs some leftovers from yesterday to eat at the university. Seokwoo is already halfway out the door when he finishes. “I’ll wait for you in the car, hurry.”

“Okay, okay. Calm down for two seconds, I’m coming.”

°°°

As Juho leaves his music producing course, he feels relaxed. A few of the things that keep him going everyday are his love for music and his goal of becoming a famous composer one day. His grades on this and similar classes are so high, he constantly gets praised. His teachers say he’s 'gifted', which helps with his self-esteem.

His university is really pretty, or at least he thinks so. Green colored halls are adorned with big windows that allow the glow of sunlight into the building. The boy stands beside the brown lockers the students use to put away their unneeded belongings, taking his psychology book, a class he enjoyed just as much.

As he walks down the hallway to his next class, he feels as someone taps on his shoulder. Turning around, Juho spots a small girl, pretty blond hair falling on her shoulders, beautiful smile matching her angel-like features.

Too bad she’s a self-centered witch.

Her name is Cha Mirae. She is an aspiring future idol with filthy rich parents, an inflated self-esteem, and no respect for others. She walks all over everyone else like she’s the damn president. It’s so ANNOYING and Juho doesn’t have anything good to say about her.

Her skirt too short, violating the university's dress code; her smile too fake, thinking everyone is less than her; he can’t stand her presence in any way.

Right now, all Juho wants to do is disappear. 'What does she even want’ , Juho thinks, already angry just by seeing her face this early in the morning.

“Can I help you?”, the boy asks with all the kindness he can muster. The last thing he needs is this witch making his life a living hell.

“You sure can, pervert. Next week's assignment? Do it for me and I’ll give you 3k. I better get a A+ or I’m calling you out. I won’t get expelled because I can literally buy the principal. Do you accept? Apparently, music is the only thing you can do correctly.”, she demands with all the venom she can muster. 'Good, acting like the actual snake she is.', Juho can’t help to laugh at her.

The silver-haired boy was coming in peace, but this was just too much. “Fuck. Off.", he spits before turning around and start walking, leaving the blond opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of the water.

'Thank god that’s over.' Juho was disappointed but not surprised. Either way, he couldn’t stop thinking about that. The words “ assignment” and “pay" turn and shimmer in his head until something clicks.

He remembers.

The next second, Juho can’t breathe. He looks from one side to another, unsure of how to proceed. This has never happened to him before.

The boy runs to the nearest bathroom, locking himself in a free stall and trying to breathe. The memories running through his head are way too horrible, passing before his eyes at an amazing speed being enough to overwhelm all of his senses.

'Inhale, exhale. In, out. I’m okay, it’s okay. Count to three. You are alright. What the fuck was that?'

On pure instinct, his hands reaches for his phone, unlocking it and two seconds away from calling Seokwoo, before he stops himself.

This is my chance, he thinks. They might have known me before, but there’s only so much someone can know about a person. Even from a best friend. C’mon, Baek. Think back, what do you remember.

The silver-head thinks back to his earlier reminiscence. He remembers…

///

Wednesday, November 16th, 2013

‘He’s gotta pay.' is all Juho's mind repeats over and over as he drags the kid into a dirty bathroom stall, angry out of his mind. 

“Where the fuck is my money?”, Juho screams as he punches the wall right beside the kid's face, hoping it scares him enough so he wouldn’t need to actually punch him. “We had a deal. If you don’t follow through, we are going to have some serious problems.”

And don’t get him wrong, it’s not like Juho likes bullying kids younger than him. He is totally against that kind of behavior. But desperate situations call for desperate measures.

The boy might be two years younger than him, but he’s just as guilty. He was the one that looked for Juho, searching to get some weight out of his shoulders. Juho gave him just that, what’s so hard about giving him his part?

The younger scrambles to his feet to answer, having fallen because of the older's violent actions. “Oh god, p-please don’t hurt m-me. I … I had the money yesterday, b-but … my mom … she needed some c-cash uhm… you know .. rough times? So yeah … I’ll give you the 40 dollars next week I PROMISE. Just … don’t tell anyone. I-if my mom f-finds out …” the kid can’t hold his tears in anymore, pathetically crying into the silent school bathroom, praying the silver-head would go easy on him.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. The older hold the shorter kid by his school jacket, lifting him a couple inches above the white bathroom floor tiles, making him squeal in fear.

“I don’t know what you think of me, but I’m not some fool you can trick. It’s a rough time for EVERYONE. You didn’t want to do your stupid assignment, I did it for you and sent it in time. I DESERVE my money. Now you either get my money for next week or-", Juho takes a deep breath as he releases the kid's jacket from his death grip, turns around just to take enough force to punch the younger hard enough his eye gets purple as he screams in pain.

“This will happen to your so needy mother.”

 

///

Present

Juho shakes his head, yet again scared of the images going through his mind, not recognizing that voice as his own. ' What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. That was … me? But … but Seokwoo said … but they…I don’t understand…' and, as on queue, tears began to fall. His friends always assured him “you were a good person", “you were kind", “you were awesome", every kind of praise fell of their mouths at the mention of his name. However, the silver-head begins to doubt their words. How could a kind man act like this? Why was he judging people if he wasn’t any better? 

Juho has never felt this awful about himself in the short period that he remembers of his life. Maybe it was true, his mother is ashamed of the type of man he became. His tears evolve into full-on sobs in the matter of seconds, wishing it was all a bad nightmare.

Minutes, or hours, passed by; Juho wasn’t sure. But, when he stood up, the only purpose that kept him going was finding out why he did it and why didn’t his friends tell him sooner.

°°°

Later that day, the boys were eating on Taeyang's and Youngkyun's shared apartment. Their living room has snowy white walls decorated with several paintings and blue curtains. Dark brown furniture sit atop a fancy wooden floor, giving the living space a homely vibe.

Everyone is sitting in the long dinning table specially bought for occasions like this one. Three boxes of pizzas open and ready to be devoured. “Bon appetite, everyone.”, was the only signal they all needed before starting to stuff their faces full with food.

“So,”, Seokwoo is the first one to talk, “how did everyone's day go? Mine was pretty normal, same boring classes.” 

“My English teacher gave us the biggest assignment of the whole year and I’m paired with Jaehyun. I’ll have to repeat the year because he’s dumb and I’m dumber. Lord have mercy on my soul.”, Taeyang joked before the whole table starts laughing at him…

'…except for Juho’, Youngkyun notices because the boy is sitting right in front of him.

As Chani chokes on a piece of pepperoni, Inseong starts talking, “I got the results of my math exam and, as expected, I’m the highest score.” Everyone claps at his achievement, dropping complements and the usual 'you are a genius, hyung' …

'…except for Juho', Youngkyun, again, notices. He's getting nervous, the older has been acting really weird today. The long-haired boy looks down to his hyung's plate, which is completely full-

'Wait, WHAT?'

An alarm starts blaring through the younger's head. Something is not right, not at all. Juho would NEVER deny the opportunity to eat with them. The silver-head was practically in love with every type of food, why wouldn’t he eat now.

As if sensing how tense he was, Dawon speaks up. “I have been feeling very weird lately. I don’t know, I feel really sad for … personal reasons that didn’t affect me before. I do and say things I don’t mean, which is affecting the people around me …”, he says as the blond haired boy shoots Youngbin a meaningful look. “It’s time for a change, I’ll try to eat better and do some type of exercise. My unhealthy habits are getting to me.” When Sanghyuk finishes his little speech, everyone reassures him he will be fine and that they will help him no matter what. Everyone does…

'Except. For. Juho.'

Youngkyun's right leg starts to shake as he bits his fingernails, looking around and praying someone else is catching up with the information he gathered. However, no one seems to realize. Why is Juho acting like this? Why now? Now of all times… maybe… maybe he-

'No, that couldn’t be it, right? He doesn’t remember anything. Maybe his stomach aches or something. Yes, that must be it.' Youngkyun concludes, relaxing back into his seat, Taeyang having sensed his anxiousness. Therefore he puts his hand on top of the younger's thigh, helping to calm him down.

But then, it happened.

“Juho, how was your day? Did something happen? You seem kind of silent today.”, Youngbin asks, genuinely worried about his friend. For the first time, the boy raises his eyes from the plate before him and dares to look at everyone else, slowly searching in each and everyone of his friend’s eyes for something. Something he seems to find only in Youngkyun's eyes.

Guilt.

Staring at the younger, unblinking, he answers, “My day was … eventful. I remembered something about … before.” At the end, he smiles, goosebumps forming on the long haired boy's skin, before his hands start shaking. Youngkyun was scared. Very fucking scared. As he looks at Taeyang for support, he finds his boyfriend frozen in place.

The whole table falls silent, the tension almost palpable. They all feigned calmness by eating more food, not able to look up from their plates. But Juho is still looking at him with one eyebrow raised, expecting. The younger couldn’t move, only stare back at his hyung. Two minutes pass by until the silver-head's eyes look somewhere else, his expression disappointed. And just as Juho is about to talk again, Youngkyun breaks.

Tears start streaming down his face as he sobs so hard Juho looks at him and forgets whatever he was going to say. Taeyang stands up, trying to take the younger boy with him to their shared bedroom before it was too late, but he reacted indeed a little too late.

Youngkyun pushes his boyfriend away, crying even harder and screaming with his eyes closed, “ I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T HATE ME I DIDN’T MEAN IT I DIDN’T MEANT IT YOU NEED TO BELIEVE ME NOW I’M SORRY I’LL DO ANYTHING JUST DON’T LEAVE US PLEASE DON’T LEA-" his face is so red and his screaming so loud, Seokwoo is about to call an ambulance before Taeyang stops him. “ I’ll take care of it.”

Youngkyun is just boldly screaming now. The boy coughs on his own spit just too swallow and keep screaming, eyes closed. Juho is frozen in place, a single tear falling down his cheek, confused, sad, and desperate. He wants to say something, reassure his friend that everything is okay, that whatever made him feel like this, he didn’t mean it. 'I love you', he wants to scream. But he remains silent. This confirms it, his friends betrayed him. He wants answers and he wants them soon. 'No more lies, it’s time to change.'

And, like that, Juho sits and watches the show, poker face through and out. He watches as Taeyang shakes the younger, trying to make him snap out of it. He watches as Chani mans up and slaps his best friend across the face, effectively stopping the screaming. He watches as both Taeyang and Chani lead Youngkyun to his room, the youngest of the three crying already, and don’t come out. He watches as Youngbin, Sanghyuk and Inseong leave, worried out of their minds because of the incident.

He sits through all of that, but doesn’t stay for Seokwoo to lie to him any further. Juho stands up, picks up his belongings, and leaves the building, all meanwhile Seokwoo calls his name and tries talking to him. Juho doesn’t even bat an eye.

It was him. Seokwoo was the one that took the responsibility to remind him about everything from before. He shaped and played with Juho’s mind like it was made of putty. Seokwoo told him everything he knows about himself and guided him every single day. How? With lies, with betrayal. And he calls himself Juho’s best friend. As the male steps out of the warm building into the cool night San Francisco offers him, his tears dry with the wind hitting his face. Let’s see for how much time he manages to stay as his best friend.

‘It’s time for a change.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think about the chapter. kudos and comments are the things that keep me going, please interact with me!!!  
> until next chapter !!!


	4. PLAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A letter. A letter from someone named Lee Jaeyoon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years, Everyone !!!

When Juho reached his apartment that night, he made sure to lock his door after taking his sleeping pills and before going to sleep. The pills cast him into a very deep sleep, so the boy didn’t hear the sounds of his roommate banging on his door, begging him to come out and talk to him.

 

As expected, he wakes up the next day to his alarm blaring in his ears. This time, he doesn’t wait for Seokwoo to wake him up, because he wouldn’t be able to with the door of his bedroom locked. Juho texted his mother, taking the opportunity to apologize and beg her for forgiveness. He didn’t explain why was he apologizing though, assuming everything would make sense in his mother’s head. There was no response.

 

As the silver-head gets ready for his morning classes, he comes up a plan. The plan's objective is to discover who he really was. First, talk to Inseong. His hyung was the WORST liar in this whole world. With a little bit of pressure, he was sure he would tell him something useful. Second, try to remember. He wouldn’t be able to find himself if he didn’t dig deeper in his mind. And last but not least, search. Juho needs to search for everything that might give him a clue of who he was, even if it would involve sneaking in his friends homes without their knowledge. 'It has to be done.', he thinks. Confident, Juho takes a deep breath and opens his bedroom door…

 

… just to stop on his tracks and stare at his roommate, fast asleep on the floor. Apparently, Seokwoo fell asleep in front of his roommate's door waiting for the younger to come out. Juho's heart softens at his best friend’s actions.

 

But he won’t succumb.

 

This was a challenge for himself, and he didn’t planning on failing. The silver-head retrieves a pillow from his room and gently sets it between his friend’s head and the cold floor. After he makes sure the taller wasn’t going to wake up any sooner, Juho makes breakfast for them both. Pancakes and sausages were the brunette's favorites, so he makes just that. Meanwhile the pancakes were cooking in the pan, he texts a taxi to come pick him up and drop him off at the university. When the food is ready, the boy takes Seokwoo's phone, setting an alarm to ring in 5 minutes, giving him enough time to take his food and his uni stuff before rushing out of the door.

···

Five minutes later, Seokwoo wakes up to an alarm. The sounds makes him jump, looking fervently at his surroundings, searching for someone. As he looks behind him, he notices Juho’s door is open; the room beyond empty.

'Damn it, I lost him.', Seokwoo can’t help but blame himself. Yesterday’s events will haunt him until Juho talks to him again. The taller was scared shitless. Juho has been his best friend since the both of them even knew what a friend was. He was there when the silver-head decided to dye his hair silver for the first time, he was there when the boy actually dyed his hair silver. Seokwoo was there when the boy had been sad, crying into his arms because his mother was too naïve and he had to take responsibility. A tear falls down his face as he thinks about Juho. Seokwoo needs him in every possible way, and he will not let this incident or anything take him away.

And here is were Seokwoo's dilemma lies. To tell the truth or to become a better liar, that’s the question. He is no Shakespeare, but the latter sounds very convenient right now. Shaking his head in dismay and drying his tears, the brunette stands up from his little bed in the floor. 

Wait…

Seokwoo doesn’t remember falling asleep with a pillow, neither making breakfast, nor setting an alarm for waking up. The taller laughs, a fuzzy feeling blooming in the center of his chest. 'I did like to think that, even if he figures everything out, he would still love me …', the brunette thinks as he sits down in the kitchen, eating the pancakes and sausages his roommate most probably made for him.

Just as he finishes eating, he receives a message. ‘Speaking of the devil…', Seokwoo muses as he opens the chat.

Juho <3: Hello. I want to tell you I need some time alone. Avoid talking to me, please. If something is really urgent, text me. I need to figure some things out by myself … having all of you around me will only slow me down. I know this sounds harsh but, I got to do it. Could you respect that at least? Tell the others, this applies to all 7 of you. I need to enter the classroom now. Don’t forget I love you. See you later.

The warm buzzing in his chest gets slashed by guilt. Juho doesn’t trust them anymore, great! What is he supposed to do now? Seokwoo takes a screenshot and sends it to the main chat, distracted enough to not see the responses as he checks the time, already 10 minutes late to his own class.

'Juho and Gaeul, I promise to be a better liar from now on. For your sake.', the teen thinks as he takes his stuff and sprints out the door.

°°°

As the week progresses, the boys hear less from Juho everyday. They get worrier and worrier as the days pass by, which is the reason of Inseong's near heart attack as the younger knocks on his door in a Friday afternoon. The younger looks no different from the last time he saw him on the couple's apartment, but the sight still makes him nervous. 'Oh no, I better keep my mouth shut.', the elder thinks as the invites the younger to enter and take a sit.

“Juho, I missed you so much. Are you still mad at all of us? I assume you are not mad at me, judging for your visit.”, Inseong questions the boy, weary of his actions. 

“Hyung, I need to ask you some questions. I’m so confused, and I don’t know what to do with myself.”, Juho complains, having practiced his acting in the last week, determined to fool and get some information out of him. He looks at the floor for greater effect, his face feigning fear and confusion.

 

“O-oh, what is it? You can always talk to me, no matter what.”, the elder assures, dreading Juho's next words. 'If I fuck up, Seokwoo will eat my alive. Get a hold of yourself, Kim. You got this.' Inseong realizes he has been standing all this time, rushing to sit down beside the `struggling` boy. The brunette places his left hand on top of the younger's, hoping it will help him calm down

 

Juho gets startled by the action, his character cracking a little, quickly recovering in fears of Inseong calling bullshit on his half-assed performance. “Last Monday, I remembered some things from before losing my memory. I was talking with a friend and something they said triggered the memories. They … didn’t fit your description of `me before the accident` and I didn’t know what to think of them. Was I a bad person? Was Youngkyun scared I would hurt him because I remembered my past self?”, the silver-head asks him, dropping his head into his hands, pulling at his hair, willing fake tears to come out and trick his hyung.

“Oh my god, Juho. That’s not it, I swear. No one is scared of you. Before or after the incident, you would have never hurt any of us. Good people do bad things in demanding situations, you know? If sometimes you were mean before, it was for a greater good, I promise-“ Inseong stops abruptly, thinking through what he just said. 'Wait… Oh god, why can’t I shut up? I could trigger more memories if I’m not careful!', the elder realizes his mistake a little too late.

‘Demanding situations? Was I in a demanding situation?', Juho wonders, his job successful. He doesn’t celebrate for much though. Looking at his hyung, he realizes Inseong's little breakdown, and rushes to calm him down.

“I guess you are right, hyung. You are so smart. Thank you for your help.”, the younger hugs his friend, effectively calming him down.

“Ah… ah yeah. It’s okay, Juho. Anything for you. If you excuse me, I’m kind of busy. I need to … go grocery shopping. Yeah… groceries. I have no milk and I want chicken for dinner. So …”, Inseong babbles, hoping the younger would leave.

And Juho did just that. “No worries, hyung. I have some errands to run, too. See you later!”, says Juho as he literally skyrockets out of the door. It may seem suspicious but honestly he couldn’t care less, his job was done there. He is relieved.

And so is Inseong. After the younger runs out the door, the elder feels like he can finally breathe again. But the feeling doesn’t last long, Juho’s sudden trust in him was very weird. Sure, they all have been friends for a long time, but everyone knew he was the closest with Seokwoo, Youngbin, or … him. The sudden interest in him makes him feel weird, so he calls Seokwoo and tells him what happened.

He has a bad feeling about this.

°°°

Before arriving home, Juho passes by his mailbox, smiling at the single letter inside the metal box. His smile grows bigger as he reads who’s it from. His younger brother's letters are always entertaining to read. The silver-head enters the apartment, checks for any sign of life (aka Seokwoo), and when everything is clear, he sits down and reads the letter with a smile on his face.

« Dear Juho,  
Hello, big bro! How have you been ? I’m fine, I guess. Mom is still acting weird, as always, meanwhile dad is working non-stop. You never told me high school was literal hell! We have too many assignments and homework and test and exams are coming up and … my stress levels are growing. On the bright side, I have new friends! There’s this guy in my class named Minseok, he is pretty cool and we became friends recently. You already know Sejeong , she’s alright. Last but not least, there’s this kid in 9th grade, I don’t know his name. One day when I was walking from the cafeteria to the bathroom, I saw him sitting on the lockers alone. Apparently, he's new and has no friends. However, that’s not the main issue, when I saw him he was practically starving. I bought some food for him and made him sit with me in the cafeteria. He never brings food to school and that makes me worry. Either way, he’s really really sweet but doesn’t talk much about himself, I still need to discover his name. Even if it’s a really selfish way to think, I like taking care of him. It feels refreshing in a way. I guess you were right that time, “Some people need it more than you.” Even if you don’t remember, you are an amazing brother. If I’m amazing, it’s all thanks to you! I miss you so so much! Please come visit soon and write back to me.

With love, Junhe. »

Sadly, the smile on Juho’s face disappeared at the end of the letter. That letter… it left Juho thinking. Yes, he is proud of his brother being such a wonderful person, don’t get him wrong. The only thing that didn’t fit in his head is the “all thanks to you" stuff.

Now, the boy is more confused than before. Whoever big brother Junhe was describing didn’t fit the person Juho saw beating that kid in his memories. Nothing is making sense in his mind, and thinking so much on the past makes his head hurt. Just as the boy stands up to go to his bedroom, Seokwoo texts him.

Seokwoo: hey Juho, Inseong called me a few minutes ago and told me he talked with u. if u don’t mind me asking, what did u talk about? Did it upset u or smthg? Answer.

So Inseong is one of Seokwoo's minion now? Does he need to report everything to him? And Seokwoo can’t mind his own business, can he? Overprotective much …

But wait, his conversation with Inseong hyung… “demanding situations" … “practically starving" … “someone people need it more than you" … amazing big bother? Something tells him all of this things go together. Could it be, hunger?

'Hmm, not a bad guess,', he thinks 'I’ll keep that in mind.'

He hurries to reply to his roommate’s message with something along the lines of “nothing” and “mind your own business”. Locking his phone and leaving it on the bed, Juho takes out paper and his pen to write a letter back to his brother.

He always thinks about his little brother and how he is doing. Junhe is tall like him, brown hair always fluffy and small eyes. Different from him, the younger has cute chubby cheeks, which make Juho melt every single time. He loves his bother the most, and that’s why he keeps a photo of them both in his wallet, always beside of him.

The boy keeps the letter short and sweet. He asks about his parents and about school, as always, but this time he writes something more. Juho trust the younger with his life. At the time of the 'accident', as his friends like to call it (which is very dumb, falling off a bike and being unfortunate enough to hit his head with a big ass rock wasn’t a life or death matter), his brother was too young, and all the weird thinks Juho was doing shouldn’t have called his attention. Either way, he asks him about before.

As Juho finishes up and folds the letter, he feels fear. His brother is the person he trusts the most in this whole world, being betrayed by him would crack him up really bad. The silver-head seals the envelope at last, and stands up. His back is killing him and he feels too tired to even breathe. Juho falls backwards into his bed, looking up at his plain white roof, and begins to think.

What a bad idea.

God, this week has been literal hell. Juho can’t … he just doesn’t understand how they lied to him. He’s not even sure if it’s all of them. Fuck, how could he know, the little evidence he holds tells him Seokwoo has practically mold him into another fucking person by now with his big mountain of white lies. And how Inseong just randomly 'reported' their conversation to the taller a few hours ago. How Youngbin and Sanghyuk were fighting that afternoon. How Youngkyun freaked out that night. It all seems to be connected. Oh Youngkyun… Juho’s going to have nightmares with that moment for the rest of his life … the raw FEAR and GUILT in the younger's face truly fucked him up.

The boy acknowledges his wet ears before the fact that he’s crying. He sobs quietly, in fear someone in the empty apartment could hear him. It’s all too much. The lies, the lies, the damn lies are eating him alive. How could they DO this to him. What about his mom, his dad? None of them have even tried to tell him the truth? What the fuck is happening. He need to know the truth, that’s his only goal now.

And, why not start with could the goddamned chamber of fucking secrets? Seokwoo's room. Juho stands up and wipes his tears with the sleeve of his black sweater, breathing fast and harshly. The silver-head takes a few minutes to calm down, migrating to the kitchen for a glass of water and a cookie. When everything is done, he slowly opens the door to Seokwoo's room.

The room looks like the last time he entered. Light blue walls cast the bedroom in a heaven-like aura. The white bed sheets and brown nightstand perfectly fit the aura of the room. There was not a single thing out of place or messy, which makes Juho’s spy mission very difficult.

He searches the drawers, closet, the bed sheets, technically everywhere but to no vail. The boy needed to tip toe around everything and fold everything that got unfolded in his search. He was getting so tired of this and it was getting kind of late, Seokwoo will come back soon. With a heavy sigh, the silver-head sits down on the floor besides the bed, browsing his head for places in which his roommate would hide important belongings.

And like that, Juho’s eyes widen in realization. The boy turns around to lie down on the floor, checking below the bed. There, he locates a cardboard box with the name ‘PRECIOUS’ on top. As he opens it, he finds various pictures of their childhood, letters, and other things. 'Oh Seokwoo, why do you gotta be so adorable?', the boy wonders as he looks at a picture of them, 14 years ago, in which they were playing with toy cars. Juho can’t deny the amount pf love he has for Seokwoo and the others, god he misses them so much. But, why would they tell him the truth after hiding it all of these years? The only one that apparently isn’t lying to him is …

His phone starts to ring, Chani's ID on the caller screen. Juho stares at his phone, wondering the odds of his friend calling him right after thinking about him. Hesitant, the boy picks up his phone and answers the call.

“Hmm, hello?”

“H-hello hy-hyung", Chani's heartbreaking sobs sound from the other side of the line. The younger is sobbing and sniffing so hard Juho is left in shock.

“Oh my god. Chani, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Are you hurt? “Who-", Juho replies, ready to fight whoever made his friends this upset. Chani’s sobs resonate so loud the older didn’t doubt the younger was shaking.

“No … n-no I’m … well I’m not- I’m not alright but… It’s nothing, I swear.” Sniff. “It’s just … hyung I’m s-sorry, you know? Today is the a-anniversary of … of …” Sniff. “ Oh god I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to do it but … we thought it was for the best and … just forgive me okay? I need it. We need you.” End of the call.

Fuck, Juho didn’t know how to think now. What in the actual fuck was happening? Chani's apology broke his heart in a million pieces. He doesn’t understand WHY they are acting like this. Are they scared Juho could hurt them? Kill them? Or do they just feel guilty? He doesn’t know what is it but it’s going to drive him insane really soon. Why are they be so … panicked at the fact that Juho remembers the past? Like they should obviously know that Juho is aware of their lies but, that may not be all of it.

Tired of having cried a second time that day, Juho wants to finish what he started. He looks quicker through the box, sad that he needs to ignore sentimental photos that could slow him down. Right when he’s about to give up, he finds something.

A letter. A letter from someone named Lee Jaeyoon.


	5. LETTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so soooorry for disappearing for two weeks. I just didn't have any inspiration to write and I was kinda busy, but I'm back!!! I don't know when the next chapter is going to be ready but meh, I will manage. PLEASE leave a comment nsbsjsn theres so many kudos and hits but no comments ? thats lowkey weird. anyways THANK YOU to everyone that is keeping up with this story, it means the most to me. I love you, enjoy !!!!

January 19th, 2014

'Juho is running. Running running running. He is being chased. Someone is after him. He can’t be caught, he just CAN’T. His mom is going to kill him if he is late. Juho needs to hurry up. If they catch him, they were going to hurt, rob him, take him. He doesn’t know who they are, or what they want, but he just runs. He needs to make it back to his mom, she needs him.

The rain falls heavy on his shoulders and head, making the road ahead seem a little blurry. But he doesn’t care. Juho needs to get away. At the end of the road, he sees a light. That’s his escape. If he reaches the light, everything will be fine. He can’t tell if the light is getting closer to him or if he’s running faster but, he’s almost there.

Juho smiles at the light, it has a relaxing aura, something to envy. Maybe he died and is about to go to heaven? He hopes heaven is pretty. The light is literally calling him, telling him everything is going to be alright.

And then, a truck honk blares loudly. Juho’s smile drops, replaced by fear.

And, he wakes up.

The boy's breathing is heavy and fast. His heart is beating like mad, and he’s oh so scared. This dreams need to stop before he gets a heart attack, which might not be that bad … no, that can’t happen. He needs to keep going, for his brother and friends. Either way, these nightmares don’t seem meaningless. He is sure they have a secret message, but he cannot wrap his mind around it yet.

Juho sits up in his bed, soft white bedsheets wet with his sweat even though it’s snowing outside. The silver-head hugs a pillow, burying his head in it, willing his tears to go away. God, life became harder and harder to go through each day, and for what? Basic needs? Bullshit. He is tired of this.

Ten minutes later, the teen stands up, throwing his shirt above his head, ready to get a hot shower. In the bathroom, he thinks about his nightmare. It was sure a new one, this is the first time someone chases him or he gets ran on by a truck. What’s scarier is, Juho was so sure the light was something he needed. The thought of it makes goosebumps appear in his skin, so he turns off the shower and gets out.

While looking in the mirror, he notes the bags under his eyes and stubble growing on his face. He looks 30 when he’s actually 18. With a sigh, he shaves his face. Life has become so repetitive this last few days …

… until there’s a sound coming from his window. Confused and alarmed, Juho looks at his window, shaving machine still in hand and shaving cream smeared on the right half of his face. He sees as a snowball came to hit his window, followed by a scream that sounded like a muffled “Yaah! Come out here!”. Concerned, Juho finishes shaving as fast as he can without getting hurt. The boy pulls a dark green tee over his head, light blue jeans and snow boots finishing his outfit. And then, he looks out the window, laughing loudly when he sees a blonde boy lying on the ground of his front yard, looking up at him with a disgusted look on his face meanwhile making angels in the snow. The silver-head opens the window, shaking a little because of the cold, and yells down to the boy, “What are you doing, now?!”

“Uhm, what does it looks like?! I’m waiting for your slow ass! I swear to god I’ll freeze out here!”, Jaeyoon yells up at Juho, standing up and pointing at him, still covered in snow.

“You didn’t even told me we were hanging out today! Mom didn’t leave me any money and I’m kind of short on cash!”, Juho yells back, kind of disappointed he might just have ruined their entire day.

“Don’t worry, baby. Hot cocoa is on me and, as long as I remember, the entrance to the park is free!”. Somehow, all the confidence and sassiness in Jaeyoon's voice doesn’t fade with the yelling.

Juho's smile grows bigger as he takes his coat practically zooms down the stairs, grabbing his gloves, keys, and beanie. He runs out the door and throws himself at Jaeyoon, both of them falling down in the white snow.

“Fuck! Stop, I’m can’t feel my limbs because of the cold! Get off, you punk!”, Jaeyoon yells at Juho while he tickles him.

“God damn, I missed you so much.”, Juho whispers in his hears, hugging the blonde close.

Jaeyoon pats him in the back before hugging him back. “C'mon, we saw each other last week. Is my presence that crucial for you?”, the older jokes. Juho doesn’t answer, and Jaeyoon doesn’t need him to, because they both know the answer.

“Yes.”

“””

Both boys walk down the street to the nearest Starbucks. Winter in South Korea was simply one of the most beautiful things both of them have ever experienced. And they admire the view, year after year without fail. In winter, the absence of heat was the perfect excuse for them to get closer. They were so close, the people around them couldn’t see that they were holding hands. They like to hold hands; it was a sign of companionship, support, commitment. Commitment to their friendship, even if their relationship somehow felt more than that. The problem is, they don’t talk about it. They hold hands, they don’t talk about it. They stare lovingly at each other, they don’t talk about it. Doesn’t matter how many butterflies flew around in his stomach when the older smiled, doesn’t matter how the older took time out of his day just to make up excuses so he could spend time and spoil the younger, they don’t talk about it. And, for the both of them, it’s better like that.

The bell of the café rings as the two teens go inside, the place basically empty at 3PM, everyone was having lunch. The blonde walks up to the counter, leaving Juho behind to look around. The girl at the counter had dark black hair with cute bangs, big eyes and long lashes. Jaeyoon thought she was pretty. Anyways, he doesn’t swing that way.

“We will have two big hot chocolates to go, please.”, the boy places his order, already taking out his wallet. Judging by the prices, that would be around 16 dollars or more.

“Card or cash?”, she asks in a cute voice, which makes Jaeyoon cringe internally. 

“Card, please.”, the blonde hands her his credit card. 

With a shy smile, she takes the card. After a few seconds messing around with the card machine, Jaeyoon gets his card back with his receipt. He thanks her and turns around to start walking towards the table Juho was seated on, but stops when he reads the content on the paper.

“Hmm, Miss? I think you made a mistake. Two big hoy chocolates can’t be 8 dollars, right?”, Jaeyoon asks, a little concerned because of the big difference.

“Don’t worry, it’s on me.”, she answers, confident smile gracing her features.

“O-oh … thank you very much!”, he smiles, even if his insides are turning. This was not the first time he got in a situation like this. He was not the most handsome man in the world, but he has his charm. Sometimes, that charm attracts people, and they always try their shot with him.

But no one hit. He already has a special someone in his mind. They don’t talk about it, though.

So, in summary, Jaeyoon gets her number but throws it away in the first trashcan he saw outside the store. He doesn’t want to be mean but, he just isn’t interested.

“Ready for the park?”, Jaeyoon asks, bouncing on his own feet and smiling brightly.

His smile soon disappears when he realizes Juho is not paying attention. The silver-head is looking over his shoulder, a scowl on his face.

“What’s wrong?”, the blonde says as he turns around too, searching for whatever the younger was looking at.

“ … It’s nothing. Let’s go.”, was Juho’s only response as he starts walking in the park's direction.

Jaeyoon knows to not force the other to speak. If there was something serious going on, Juho would tell him eventually. So, he catches up with the other and holds his hand again in hopes he will calm down. And Juho did.

Their day goes on. The park was pretty in the white blanket that was snow, giving it a magical aura. They joke, laugh, play, talk, and get their minds out of every bad thought. Well, Jaeyoon did. Juho couldn’t shake off the idea of someone following them out of his mind. He could feel eyes on him, watching his every move, nearly studying him. He enjoys his “date” with Jaeyoon, yes he does. But Juho feels stressed as he reaches his home that afternoon, locking the front door and running up to his room. Yes, he’s paranoid. Sue him.

 

He didn’t have to worry, though. Whoever was following them followed Jaeyoon as soon as the older left.

°°°

Present

 

Juho reads the name again and again. He doesn’t know what makes it special, it just … calls him in a way. His mind is a mess of thoughts, which must be a good sign. However, just as he is about to open the envelope and read the letter, the front door to the apartment opens.

He is so fucked.

He looks around alarmed, searching for a hiding spot. Unfortunately, Juho is too big to hide below the bed. Even if he tried getting out the window, it wouldn’t work. Now, it’s time he shows off his acting skills.

Juho stands up and stuffs the envelope in his pocket just as Seokwoo enters his room. “Juho, what are you doing here?”, the taller asks, concerned about the teen's actions.

“Yeah, well … do you have … uhmm … I wanted to know if you had some …”, Juho's mind is completely blank and, in fear of his roommate suspecting him, the boy spits the first word that he thinks of when his eyes fall on the newspaper on top of Seokwoo’s studying desk. Very quietly, he whispers, “… coupons?”.

The distance between the two boys and the tiredness that rests on the taller's shoulder must be driving him mad. “Wait, what did you just say?”, Seokwoo asks again, not believing his ears.

“Give me some coupons, please?”, the teen whispers again. God, Juho is so stupid. Why would he even ask for coupons. He doesn’t even do the grocery shopping, why would he need coupons? Juho was so sure his cover was blown until he saw the brunette's face. His expression is so utterly confused and kind of disgusted, the silver-head is sure he couldn’t have heard him right.

And then, Seokwoo asks a question. A question Juho wouldn’t ever in his life be prepared to hear from his roomate. Sue him, he’s really innocent.

“You … you are asking me for … c-condoms?!”, Seokwoo spits out, not able to stop his laughter anymore when Juho’s eyes get of the size of dinner plates.

“Ah … YES. Yes. I need those. Those c-condoms? It’s for … a project. You wouldn’t understand since you didn’t take science. So yeah, give me your condoms, I guess?”

Seokwoo couldn’t stop laughing. His giggles fill the quiet room and drown out Juho’s anxiousness. 'Fuck, that was a close one.', he thinks as he laughs with his roommate, relief flooding his veins.

“Sadly, I don’t have any. I guess you need to buy some.”, Seokwoo replies before laughing again.

“Ah, no it’s okay! I’ll see what I can do. Goodnight, I guess”, Juho says and then rishes out the room, the last thing he hears is his roommate wheeze out between giggles, “Don’t forget the pills!”

And Juho goes to the kitchen for a glass of water, locks the front door and turns off all the lights. But boy doesn’t take the pills right ahead. He first reads the very cryptic letter written by someone named Lee Jaeyoon. To his surprise, the letter was quite short. He talked about his life, how he was doing, and his parents in two short paragraphs. The last sentence, though, left Juho with a lot to think.  
'How is Juho? Is he alright? You know I miss him the most.'

The silver-head’s mind is full of unanswered questions. First, who is Lee Jaeyoon? Why is he asking about Juho? He seems very worried about his well being so, why has Juho never heard about him? Well, that last question had an easy answer. 

His friends hid his existence from him. But why?

Juho’s mind begins to wonder. What if he hurt him? Jaeyoon or whoever that person was seemed sad to be apart from Juho, so he guesses thean didn’t was to leave him alone. But at the end, he did. Why is that?

So many questions and no answers. Juho really can’t rely on his friends anymore. It’s time to take matters on his own hands. So the boy walks up to the brown study desk placed beside his bed and, with trembling hands, Juho takes out another piece of paper.

He sits down, takes a pen and thinks. This is something different, not like the letters he writes to his brother. This might not be for someone he is dear of, someone that wants to hear about his daily life, someone that cares about him. The thing is, Juho doesn’t know. Maybe, Lee Jaeyoon cares about him. Maybe he wants to hear about him, see him, feel him, know how he is doing. Unfortunately, so many people have let him down that he can’t think about a stranger loving him when apparently his friends don’t love him enough. And, with that in his mind, he writes …

Dear Lee Jaeyoon,

I have two questions. Who are you and why am I writing this? Please respond.   
~Baek Juho

 

After that, he puts the letter inside of an envelope, writes Jaeyoon's direction from Seokwoo’s and his own. After finishing his letter, he realizes that Jaeyoon’s direction matches the address in his memories, “Daeyeon-dong, Nam-gu, Busan, South Korea.”

Juho has a gut feeling about this. A lot of things are about to change. He hopes it’s for the better, at least.


	6. THE MAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess im back ! I wrote this whole chapter in like three hours bc of a special reader that inspired me uwu. the chapter may be really bad quality but I will get better. im just getting the hang of writing again so forgive me. enjoy the chapter and, see u later !

With the letter written and even more confused than before, Juho doesn’t take his sleeping pills. He needs to think. His “don’t talk to me, I need to figure things out" strategy was driving his friends mad. If something happened to them as a result of his strange behavior, it would ruin the whole plan. So, his next step was talking to his friends and giving them peace of mind. Maybe it would be harder for the silver-head to explain all of his suspicious actions and reactions, it’s a risk he needs to take. For his friends and for himself.

 

Like this, Juho the boy lays down and thinks about the name. The name that is somehow so important but so worthless in his mind. The name is certainly calming, giving him some strange sense of happiness when it slips past his lips. He wants to know who they are and if they can help him. 

 

You might wonder, why Juho is so invested in knowing the truth. For some is not that obvious but, truth gives Juho sense, a purpose. If he knows the truth, he can decide for himself who he wants to be and what he wants to fix. It’s all part of the typical human desire to have a reason to live. This is his, and no one had the right to take it from him. Not his friends, not Seokwoo. not even his family. He was ready for a change, and maybe the time was due. Maybe …

 

And then, he lost track of his thoughts, who where violently crushed, being replaced with a headache. A really strong one, too. 'Wait, what’s happening.', Juho thinks to himself and he places the palm of his hand on his hot forehead, the pain so deep he had to sit up in his bed. 'Maybe it’s because I didn’t take the pills?', Juho wonders. Well, imagine his surprise when he goes to check the container and discovers it doesn’t have any kind of sticker with the drug's information. 'What type of bullshit has Seokwoo been giving him all this time. The silver-head trusted blindly on his roommate, letting the latter go search for his meds because his university is located near a drug store.  
Juho, not able to think straight because of the pain, screwed open the container, takes one pill, and hurries to the kitchen to take a glass of iced water, surprisingly, not falling in the process.

 

Five minutes later, Juho could feel the headache slowly decrease into nonexistence and the sleepiness making itself present. As he falls asleep, Juho promises himself that hehe will dig up the mountain on secrets both his family and his friends keep from him.  
Time is due.

 

°°°

 

There he stands, in front of the coffee shop that holds small but meaningful memories, memories he wants so much to forget, yet his heart says otherwise. As he enters the shop, a male employee greets the man. 

 

“Hello! How are you this morning? What kind of beverage will you enjoy today?”, the employee greets brightly, a big smile and gentle voice asks the man. 

 

“One big hot chocolate, please.”, the man responds, not matching the excitement of the other. 'Why would he, it’s not like he deserves to be happy anyway.'

 

“Coming right up! Anything else?”, said the employee, green apron matching the enthusiasm of his smile, obviously practiced. This man really knew how to do this job. “That's it. What’s the price?”, as nice as the man is, he wants to get out of there. It’s funny, really, how everyday he comes to this same café, hating every second of his stay, hating the sugary beverage even more, for one simple reason.

 

To not forget.

 

As he hands the exact money to the cashier, he waits for the drink. Just thinking about how many things he need to do is stressing him out, and his day hasn’t even started yet. As much as he loves his history and dance classes, having to walk to his university every day just made it a pain in the ass. Only if he had money, a car would solve most of his problems. 'Fuck education', he thought. Why can’t just a man be happy? Also that asshole has the audacity to ignore all of the letters he sends him. The man is oh so curious of how the others are, especially one person....

 

Just as his eyes are about to water, his beverage is ready and, thanking the barista, he heads out of the whole on the wall Starbucks and to his university. 'Another school day, here we go …'

 

 

°°°

 

 

Juho wakes up the next day feeling different. As his thoughts transforms from a fuzzy ball of confusion to bright clarity, he remembers.

 

He has some work to do. He all but jumps out of bed, already excited to pit his new and perfected plan in action. Even if he wont admit it, the silver-head is low-key happy he can talk to his friends again. Even if they betrayed him, he can’t help to feel attached to the people that have helped him through the short lapse of his life that he can recall. 'Maybe everything was not honesty and smiles,' he thinks, 'but I do care about them a lot.' 

 

As the man brushes his teeth and arranges his hair, he organises his day on his mind. First, talk to Seokwoo. He could hear the other cooking from outside his room, singing the latest Jazz Cartier song in his, Juho may comment, 'unique singing voice'. Juho steps out of his room, cheerfully announcing his presence to a rather surprised and scared roommate. “Hello, my dear Kim Seokwoo. What are we having for breakfast today?”, Juho said with all the affection he had been repressing this last week. He loves his best friend, sue him.

 

If Juho wasn’t expecting the taller’s face, he would have laughed at his expression. The brunette's eyes looked like they would fly out of their respective holes in any second. “Uhhh, good morning?”, Seokwoo replied in a tiny voice. Juho felt sorry for him; imagine being in such a confusing situation as he is now, with a apparently crazy silver-haired roommate that hates you for an entire week and talks to you the next day like nothing has even happened. “I'm making scrambled eggs and sausages, do you want some?”, Seokwoo asked, voice recovered from the surprise but eyes still calculating, searching for anything suspicious in his eyes. 

 

“Yes, please. Could you put it on a container too? I have things to do and as soon as I start as soon as I can go back to sleep. School is tiring these days.”, the other replies as normally as he can. At this point, Juho thinks he deserves an Oscar. His acting is so believable, Seokwoo is even more confused when he hears his answer. Doing as the silver-head told him too, the brunette packs the breakfast in the container Juho usually uses the most. Just as hes about to finish, something blossoms on his mind, “Hey Juho, you never answered me. What did you and Inseong talk about yesterday? Was something bothering you? Can I help you?”, Seokwoo said in his sweet voice and God help him, Juho was about to tell him everything. His roommate always gave the best advice and he could use some right now, but the ma himself was part of the problem and no, Juho won’t let him fuck with his mind anymore.

 

“Oh yeah, some personal things I was worried about. But he clarified it all, don’t worry, I don’t have those thoughts on my mind anymore.”, 'What a liar, Baek Juho, just like your so called friend over here.' the man thinks as the same lies fall out of his mouth like honey. “Anyways, I have to go now, is the food ready?”, he asks, satisfied with his behavior through the whole conversation.

 

“Yeah sure, here it is.”, Seokwoo says, completely fooled by his roommate, with a false sense of calmness brought by the resemblance of Juho's recent statement and Inseong's description of the visit. 'Maybe, I'm worrying over nothing.', the taller thinks as he hands the breakfast over to the other, bright smile gracing his features. “Thank you, bro. I owe you one, really. See you later!”, Juho half screams as he rushes out the door, calm smile changing into a mischievous one when the door to the apartment closes. 

 

The excitement in Juho's blood is quickly followed by fear, fear of just how much did his friends alter his past.

 

The silver-head brushes all of his emotions off his shoulder as he drives up to the mail center, ready to send two important letters. Both will cause confusion when they reach their destination, but it’s for the best, Juho assures himself. Handing the letters to the mail employee wasn’t an east task, but when he did, it felt like a big heaviness was taken from his shoulders. As the silver-head heads back to his car, he opens his phone.

 

(10:42AM)  
Mom💗: Hi Juho, how are you?

Me: Im fine mom. A lot of things have been happening lately but, im making changes. I really don’t know if they are for the best but, its worth the try. I know you wont respond but, I love u, okay? Have a good day.

 

As usual, no response. But Juho didn’t feel bad or sad. He knows that, soon enough he will understand his mom's behavior and, when that happens, he hopes she answers.

 

Next, he enters his friends groupchat.

 

«Seokwoo and the uglies» (8)

(10:44 AM)  
Me: Hi guys!!! I know I have been kinda cryptic with you all lately and that has caused you all some bad feelings so … im really sorry about that. Let’s have some dinner tonight! Yall can choose the restaurant. I would pay for your meals but sadly im broke as fuck. Please answer me :(((

Sanghyuck: …okay

 

Youngbin: hyuck PLEASE have some tact.

 

Youngbin: its alright juho, we are not mad at you or anything.

 

Inseong: I lov u juho 

 

Chani: if we don’t go to eat chicken im not attending to this dinner of yours

 

Me: wow chani, lovely as always

 

Chani: stfu grandpa

 

Youngkyun: Juho are u mad at me?

 

Me: OBV NO why would I ????

 

Taeyang: he still feels guilty for his breakdown…

 

Me: omg I forgot about that, do you feel better, kyun? Idk what youbare going through but I know you can go through it ! also taeyang u better be helping your boyfriend or im killing u myself.

 

Youngkyun: IM FINE HYUNG he’s nice to me as always and aaah hearing about you makes me feel so much better.

 

Taeyang: wow. Not even I can make him go from sad to happy THAT EASILY.

 

Me: sorry taeyang ur boyfie likes me more

 

Taeyang: U BETTER TAKE THAT BACK

 

Youngkyun: the stupidity-

 

Chani: OOOOOOOO FIGHT

 

Seokwoo: my phone is vibrating like crazy wtf do yall want

 

Sanghyuck: SEOK STFU WE HAVE VIP SITS TO A FIGHT AND U R RUINING IT

 

Youngbin: seok, kindly, shut up

 

Me: YOU ALL ARE IMPOSSIBLE I SWEAR

 

My my, Juho missed this conversations so much. His idiotic smile couldn’t be erased from his face until he reached the library, positive on doing some homework to pass the time.

 

 

°°°

 

The boy arrives 5 minutes early to history class, his head lost in the clouds when he bumps into his best friend.

 

“What’s gotten into you lately? You seem more lost than normal. Is it an assignment? Is it a boy~?” she asks, mostly excited about the last part. His best friend, Bae Jiwoon, is the only girl on his whole class that hasn’t tried to ask him out. Her bright and random, but equally as shy personality made her the best partner someone like him could have. Jiwoon knew he was gay, apparently she knew from the first day they talked, but he hasn’t told her about the past yet. Aside from that, they tell each other EVERYTHING and are practically brother and sister, her being older for two months.

 

They share every embarrassing secret, crazy dream or stupid joke that grazed their young minds. If he was sad, she would hug him until he felt better and then take him shopping. If she was sad, he would put her favorite movies on Netflix and feed her sweets until they were laughing on the floor. Their friendship bloomed from two struggling teens that wanted some happiness once in a while, and they have been best friends ever since. He’s more than happy because he hasn’t made any more friends in his two years of college. His resting bitch face and mostly gloomy mood didn’t attract people much. 

 

Either way, she could sense his gloomy mood and when the class started, she was already planning their whole day. You see, Jiwoon has this special skill of making him happy. He loves her so much.

 

°°°

 

And so the man and Jiwoon walk underneath the afternoon sun, eat some delicious food, and then go to the karaoke for the rest of the day. And so Juho and his friend group go to a fried chicken place, talk, laugh, and joke with each other all afternoon as well.  
And so Juho and the man go to sleep, and so they think of each other before going to they drift to unconsciousness.

 

Juho wishes Jaeyoon answers to his letter soon.  
And the man wishes he receives a sign of life from his loved one living far away.

 

And so, Juho and the man, Lee Jaeyoon, think of each other.

 

 

“Please, remember me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what u think abt it uwu !


End file.
